


Of Long Runs and Thorny Situations

by NicePumpkinSpice



Series: Of Sweet Memories and Guarded Moments [71]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 00:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5395595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePumpkinSpice/pseuds/NicePumpkinSpice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen takes a run to clear his head and finds a present that only Evelyn would love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Long Runs and Thorny Situations

After Evelyn’s outburst, Cullen made pancakes while they began to talk in earnest - about their hopes, their expectations, and their hurts. The conversation was simultaneously draining and invigorating. As they spoke, Evelyn sat near the stove with her legs drawn close to her chest as she watched Cullen pour the batter, wait for bubbles to appear in the center of the round cakes, and then flip them over. The first few had to be tossed out, but then they started to turn out right - golden brown and delicious.

Evelyn was ravenous. She had spent much of the night pacing and fretting as she anguished over reports and the Exalted Council while she also tried to get a handle on her emotions and thoughts related to Cullen. Planning came naturally to her. Dealing with feelings did not. Her every instinct was to hide the negative ones away, so she wouldn’t be punished for having them. _Good_ mages were in control of their emotions. _Bad_ ones ended up having them stripped away by the tranquil’s brand. That at least was the lesson the First Enchanter had taught her when he sent her to work with the tranquil as a warning after a teenaged tantrum. The fact that Leliana had banned the rite didn’t change what had been ingrained in Evelyn’s consciousness or how scared she was of her own feelings.

With a full stomach and a lighter emotional burden, Evelyn finally felt like she might be able to nap. Giving Cullen a kiss on the cheek before departing, she promised to see him at the council meeting in a few hours time before retreating to her quarters. Cullen was worn out, but he knew that getting an hour or two’s rest would only make him more exhausted. He decided to go for a run instead. After lacing up his boots and throwing on a tunic, he jogged out of Skyhold to clear his mind.

As he ran down the path leading from Skyhold, Cullen reflected on Evelyn and their relationship with each other. Nearly all of her issues stemmed from the same source - the Chantry and its Circles. She had only fairy tale ideals of what a family should be because she barely knew her own. Her mental pictures of family came from sermons and books. She had no experience with the reality - that families could be messy, that loving wasn’t always easy, and that happy endings required hard work.

Then there was her inability to express her darker emotions. She kept those bottled up - wearing an easy smile as a mask. What other choice did she have really? She had been trained as a healer, and Cullen knew from experience that templars watched them more closely than other mages - even those that specialized in combat magics. The official line was that healers communed more with spirits and were thus more susceptible to possession. The truth was more that templars knew healers were the only mages that would actually be allowed to cast magic on them. They were both grateful for and terrified of the healers’ power, and many of them wanted to feel more in control of it.

Even Ev’s tendency to use flirting and sex as a distractor could be blamed on the twisted environment of the Circles. How else would a thirty two year old man have been allowed nearly unlimited access to a fifteen or sixteen year old girl? Evelyn didn’t see her relationship with the Senior Enchanter Faren as having been abusive, but Cullen felt differently. She was a mere child, and Faren had misused his authority over her - wooing and then bedding her. The entire thing made Cullen sick, and he was secretly glad Faren had died after being transferred to Kirkwall. 

She had grown up in an environment of fear - being told that her gifts were a curse. Her family abandoned her. Her teachers used her. Her friends killed in front of her. When the Circles fell and Kevin took off, she was left to fend for herself - a woman that had never learned how to swim, ride a horse, or prepare a meal. Then the Conclave happened, and she was thrust into a leadership roll by virtue of a misfired spell. The Maker had a cruel sense of humor it seemed.

Still she had kept going and remained a fundamentally kind and compassionate person. She was self-sacrificing and a good listener. She knew nearly everyone at Skyhold and was always willing to help - even the lowest ranking servant knew he or she could approach the Inquisitor for assistance. Added to that, Evelyn had truly saved the world as well as him. It was only with her encouragement that he had stayed on track to manage his lyrium addiction after all.

They were both about to break free of the Circle’s hold over them, start a life together... when yet another consequence of their former lives appeared. Templars were encouraged to avoid long term relationships. They weren’t officially allowed to fraternize with each other or the mages under their care. Few were granted permission to marry even if they were able to maintain a relationship with the long hours and high stress of their profession. Most turned to prostitutes or skirted the fraternization regulations. 

Rather than choosing a whore or breaking the rules, Cullen had found Norah. She didn’t have any expectations. She was easy to talk to and even easier to bed. They’d go months without seeing each other and pick up where they left off. It was simple and physical - no messy emotional ties, nothing to regret ... or so he thought. He would have never left Kirkwall had he known she was pregnant. He would have certainly never allowed himself to fall in love with Evelyn. And yet he had ...

Graham was the bright spot in the entire mess of it all. Cullen had never loved someone so fiercely, so completely. Watching him grow and change daily was like seeing a miracle unfold. He couldn’t, didn’t regret being his father. He just wished his actions hadn’t hurt so many people. Evelyn wasn’t the only person the news about Graham had devastated. Cullen’s parents were shocked by his broken engagement to Evelyn and severely disappointed in him for having not even cared enough about Norah to know that she had gotten pregnant. He had hurt Norah as well. When she first arrived, it was obvious that she wanted to try to be a family, but he couldn’t make himself care for her as more than a friend. She’d been gracious about it, but that didn’t excuse him from shirking his responsibilities to her. Even Josie had been wounded. She’d planned his wedding for months only to have it cancelled literally two weeks beforehand. Then she’d had to endure awkward war council meetings as he had tried to win back Evelyn as she pretended nothing had ever existed between them.

Cullen had run further than he expected, and his lungs were beginning to burn. Leaning over and pacing with his hands on his sides as he struggled to catch his breath, he noticed an odd plant on the ground. It was a twisted thorny tangle with a surprisingly delicate yet beautiful blossom. He’d never seen another like it, and he knew just the person who would love it. Realizing that Evelyn would have his head if he simply picked the flower, he got on his hands and knees to dig it up using his dagger before double timing it back to Skyhold.

He didn’t bother to clean up before going to Evelyn’s room and nearly bumped into a servant as he bounded up the stairs. “Is she awake?” he asked the elven woman who had been Evelyn’s primary handmaid since Haven.

“Aye,” the woman replied while eyeing Cullen closely. _Another person I hurt,_ he thought as he took in the servant’s wary stare. No doubt this woman had dealt with Evelyn’s roiling emotions in the past year. He knew Evelyn trusted her implicitly and strongly suspected that she had been leaned on heavily. The servant sighed and handed him a towel that she’d been using to clean. “At least wrap this around the roots, you’re getting dirt everywhere,” she’d huffed before taking off down the stairs.

Before knocking on Evelyn’s door, Cullen ran a hand through his hair and tried to straighten his shirt. It was hopeless. He was a dirt and sweat covered mess. Pushing aside his vanity, he rapped on the doorframe.

“Come on in,” Evelyn chirped from inside not bothering to check who was there. _She probably thinks I’m a servant. It’s still too early for runners to be about,_ he thought as opened the door and went up the steps to her room. 

He stopped short when he reached the top of the stairs. Evelyn clearly wasn’t expecting him. She was in her smalls with her back to the stairway - staring at clothes on her bed. “I can’t decide what to wear,” she said. “I know he likes me in dresses, but there’s kind of a sexual undertone to that ... easy access and all. My leathers might be alright, but then he might not think I’m trying...”

Cullen was stunned to hear how much thought she was putting into her attire. Had she always tried this hard to please him? Clearing his throat, he answered, “I’ve always thought you look pretty in that yellow dress.”

Evelyn spun around, red faced and clutching her chest. “What are you doing here?” she gasped as she dove for her closet.

“I found this plant. I thought you’d like it,” Cullen said while holding up the bedraggled flower.

Evelyn peeked out from the closet and then squealed as she crossed the room too entranced by the herb to be embarrassed by her state of undress. “That’s a rosy nettle! I’ve wanted one of those for ages. They have all sorts of uses... fighting fever, healing joint pain, easing menstrual cramps... The leaves when combined with witherstalk stems in an alcohol based suspension can be used to speed delivery during a stalled labor.” 

She took the plant from him and cradled it in her hands. “This is the best present ever! I’ve got to get it planted right away. They aren’t very hearty,” she said as she started down the stairs after giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Uh, Ev?” Cullen called out after her.

“Mmm hmmm?” she replied clearly preoccupied with thoughts of root growth and cuttings.

“You might want to get dressed first.”


End file.
